Gone With the Wind (I do give a damn)

a continuation by author Erika Sams

Scarlett woke with a pounding in her head from the bourbon she’d drowned her pain in the night before. Her eyes puffy from tears. Real tears, not the fake ones she’d put on so often to get her way. She was alone in a way she’d never been before, and she was feeling it with every nerve in her body. Her daughter dead, her friend gone, the man she’d wanted her whole life, lost. Then there was Rhett, her husband, her support, her rock, though she’d never admitted that to anyone, even herself before. She’d probably never admit it to anyone out loud, but in this quiet moment in an empty bed inside an emptier house, she was more honest with herself than she had ever been. She was sad. She missed him. She loved him. In some ways she did take him for granted. She knew that. He took every spitfire word she had thrown at him and only loved her harder. When she needed something, she always knew, even if she resented having to go to him, he’d still be there to sword with words. He was right about her in so many ways, and she hated that. If she was to be really, truly honest with herself, she was insecure. She felt if she was honest, gentle, vulnerable with him, or anyone, she’d lose her power, and there was nothing she feared more than a cage, even if it was only emotional. But in doing so, had she caged out the only person who had only ever wanted her as she was? He fell for her as she broke things over another man. Ashley. Had she really loved him or had her attachment simply grown out of jealousy. Every man in the area had wanted to flirt with her, to be near her, in her good graces, everyone but him. Ashley not wanting her made her feel like a child. He was headstrong, sure of himself, and he chose Melanie. How she hated Melanie. Well, did she really hate her? She convinced herself she did, because it made her feel better…or so she thought. If she had truly hated Melanie, she wouldn’t have stayed and helped her so many times as she had.

Scarlett forced thoughts of Melanie out of her head. If she dared to admit Melanie was a good woman, a good friend, even after everything she had done, including being in love with her husband so openly the whole town knew. If she admitted to herself or anyone that Melanie really was her best friend, she might never get out of this bed from the guilt. It would be better to die than face it.

Scarlett opened her eyes and forced herself into a sitting position, realizing she had fallen asleep in Rhett’s bed, not her own. The peng in her gut reminded her that he was gone. He couldn’t have changed his mind and come back home or he’d be with her. Right next to her. Another tear escaped down her cheek, but she wiped it away with a deep inhale to pull herself together. Looking out the window, she remembered how he would kiss her. Stronger and more passionate than any of her other husbands. He’d kiss her like a man who knew what and who he wanted. When he made love to her, she felt things only he could make her feel. She wanted him back. She would get him back.

My Dear Rhett,

The house is not the same without you here. Please won’t you come home? I am your wife after all. After everything you can’t go forever. Please, come home.

I love you. Truly.

Scarlett

A week of pacing went by and it was clear Rhett was not responding so she tried again.

My Dear Rhett,

Remember the day you told me you wished I’d love you as passionately as I loved Ashley? Well would it make you feel better to know I’ve broken 10 vases over you leaving? With him I only ever broke one. You know I won’t beg, and perhaps I do have too much pride, but would you love me any differently? I love you, Rhett. I love you more than I ever thought I could love anyone. Come home and I promise I will prove it to you.

With all my love,

Scarlett

Another week went by and Scarlett grew angry. He was toying with her now. Punishing her for the years she’d drug him along while lusting over another man. I guess if she admitted it, she’d know she had made him hurt so much more than he did now.

Rhett,

I’m sorry. You are right, I took you for granted. I treated you like a pawn to get what I wanted. But you were wrong too. You married me knowing I wasn’t in love with you and then punished me for it. Come home. Let’s start again. I know I took too long, but I’m ready now, and I love you. Come home.

Scarlett

She gave a few more days and then she was done waiting. She packed up and made her way to Chicago, where she got a hotel near where she knew Rhett would be. Staying in the office over his bar downtown. She dressed in her most scandalously beautiful gown so she knew Rhett couldn’t turn her away. She wore the green feathered hat; the first gift Rhett ever gate her.

She walked confidently, head held high, heels clicking down the street. She was going to get her husband back no matter what it took. She stopped just before the swinging doors and adjusted her bosom provocatively to remind Rhett what he was missing. The fact that other men would gawk was a bonus, as it would add to her husband’s jealousy.

She swung open the doors and was immediately met by hollers and cheers. Pulling out her fan, she feigned shyness, but satisfied with flirting eyes peeking over her fan.

“Let me buy you a dink, little lady,” a man came up and offered his hand.

“I have nothing to offer in return, but would never deny a gentleman’s offer of whisky.”

She accepted his hand, flashing her diamond ring.

“Well, I’ll be, your husband lets you prance around like that? If you were my wife, I’d keep you in a potato sack!”

“My husband isn’t afraid of another man looking at me, because if he were to try anything foolish, my husband would simply take care of the situation so the man would never touch anything again.”

The man laughed, “A black widow, I ain’t afraid of a little danger over a woman pretty as you. I’ll buy you that whiskey!”

He offered his arm and she took it, swaying her hoop skirt over to the bar where two shots of whiskey were poured. Before the man could grab one, Scarlett took both and downed one after the other.

“Woo-ee, you looking for trouble tonight, aren’t you?” The man said.

“Just some liquid courage,” she replied, wiping a drop from her lip, “I’ll let you know if I need to make someone jealous.”

And with that, Scarlett left the man hollering with his boys.

Scarlett walked up the stairs and down the hall. She knew no one would stop her dressed like this. Any of Rhett’s people would assume she was a lady of the night. She swayed down the hall to his office, quietly opened the door, and there he was, sitting at his desk in candlelight, his head hung low, looking at papers on his desk.

Seeing him, suddenly Scarlett felt weak. All the confidence and courage she’d had walking in the door was drained out, but her resolve remained. She began to step towards him and the click of her heels gave her away. Startled, Rhett jumped to his feet turning around with a gun in his hand, “Scarlett,” he breathed out in surprise and relief.

“Are you going to shoot me?” she asked, closing the door behind her, and leaning back against it, allowing him a moment to appreciate the view, “I guess I wouldn’t blame you after what I’ve put you through.”

Rhett’s face had gone white. She’d never seen him like this before. He set the gun beside him on his desk, “shooting you would be a mercy you don’t deserve.”

“Oh Rhett, please for give me,” Scarlett said just as dramatically as she had the day he left her. Crossing the room she threw herself into his arms, “I love you, you have to know it. More than I’ve ever loved anyone, I do.”

Rhett’s surprise waned and his stubborn resolve took over and he pushed her off of him, leaving her breathless and earnest as he walked to the window, “Twelve years I loved you, fought for you, stood by you as you threw yourself in front of another man. Twelve years you were all I wanted. I leave you alone for three weeks and you’re beside yourself. I haven’t sent divorce papers and yet you show up here like a lady of the night thinking I’m too weak to kick you out. I’m not immune and I have half a mind to do just that.”

Sharlett looked at his bedside and saw her letters laid open on the nightstand, “Then I’ll come back,” she stepped closer to him, “Every day I’ll come back,” she wrapped his hand with both of hers, “You want me, you have me. Every bit, I’m not hiding anymore.”

“You’ll say anything to get what you want,” Rhett pulled away, turning his back to her again, “Always a character, always a scheme. And I loved that about you, your stubbornness, your strong will. All I ever wanted…” he cut himself short, because all he ever wanted was for Scarlett to want him the way she did in this moment, but he wasn’t sure if he could believe her.

“Rhett, please,” Scarlett said softly as she turned him around to her. She wrestled with his unwilling arms and looked up into his eyes with every bit of truth she could muster, “I gave Ashley the lumber mill,” Rhett’s jaw clinched at his name, but she went on, “It was the idea of a foolish girl I took too long to get over. I’m a woman now, and all I want is you. I love you, Rhett.”

A single tear fell down from her crystal blue eye to her cheek and Rhett softened. So often Scarlett had used fake tears to sway someone to get what she wanted. Swayed him to get what she wanted. But this was real. The earnestness in her eyes was something he had yet to witness. He brushed the tear off her cheek with his thumb. Real. She meant what she said, she loved him, and the walls around his heart crumbled.

“Scarlett,” he said quietly.

“Oh, Rhett,” and he kissed her. He kissed her with the passion of a man who’d been starved for twelve years. And she kissed him with all the love she’d ever had to give, like he was the only one she had ever and would ever need.